OK, I know it's April 1st and all, but this is absolutely, 100% true. This story is the first in a series of posts that will serve to look back at 2010 which was the year lost to my blog.
This particular story takes place in early July of '10 when XL and I were planing our fantasy football league draft. After nine years of simply dominating the league I stepped up to the official capacity of commissioner in 2010 and as such I felt we needed to have a kick ass draft, the story of which may well become the subject of one of these posts at a later date. But now back to the take away road kill you see above.
XL and I took a little trip out to the Eastern part of PA to scope out the place we planned to have our draft. After our food we drove up to my mother in law's house to drop off my computer, which needed a bit of doctoring after it shit the bed on me. As I was driving down a two lane road I saw this little squirrel run out into the middle of the road where he stopped on the double yellow lines. He looked up at us and then, as we got closer he decided to run right in the path of the car, completely ignoring the safe passage that lay behind him.
I heard a bit of a thud and as we drove further I looked in the rear view to see if the carcass was there. It wasn't. So when we arrived at our destination I slowly approached the front of the car and what you see above is what was waiting for me. After laughing uncontrollably I asked my mother in law for some items need to extricate Rocky from XL's grill. That procedure was not nearly as easy as you might think it would be. Granted, it was probably made all the more difficult because I was laughing my face off the whole time, but sufficed to say there was a whole lot more tugging then I would have liked.
Once I got him out and disposed of the body I was struck with a few nagging questions, which I will pose rhetorically below:
1) Why didn't he run the other way?
2) How in the hell did he jump high enough to be level with the grill?
3) What are the odds of him striking the car at just the right angle to enter the grill ass first and stick there?
4) Where's Eddie, he usually eats these damn things.
5) How many points do I get for this?
6) How much does taxidermy cost?
In the end all was taken care of with some gloves, a shovel and a car wash. We got hours of laughter out of it even if a few little squirrel babies had to go without acorns from then on.