Thursday, March 03, 2011

OpinionaTed: Paris 'n Pooh

Well hello there. I'm Teddy and I've recently joined the procedings here at TGWOOfY. I've been with Greazy along time; so long in fact that I knew him before he was Greazy Tony. We've spent a lot of time together over the last 34 years and so we have a lot of the same opinions, but not all of them are exactly the same. And that's where my guest spot on his blog comes in. I'm going to bring my decidedly unique experiance as a stuffed-American to bear on the blog once a week. (See what I did there? Not bad huh?)

My blog will be called OpinionaTed and it will cover all matter of topics. Not all of them will be specific to the Stuffed world, or to Teddy/human relations and very few, if any, will be about the odd confluance of our worlds that is plushies and furries. I hope to make you laugh, cry, think and maybe if we're all lucky I'll entertain you too. Now, on to my first topic:

Paris Hilton is the Winnie the Pooh of the human world. Notice I didn't say "Pooh is the Paris of the stuffed world" because we have to remember who came first here. Long before Paris was famous for... what ever the fuck she's famous for, Pooh was here annoying the shit out of Teddy Bears with his simpelton bullshit. You think Paris is innane? Listen to Pooh some time with his hunny this and hunny that. What a one trick pony. He brings nothing of substance to the table but he gets to be famous because that sick little fucker Christopher Robin used him like gym sock... if you know what I mean.

It's not just the fact that he's a one track minded simpleton that bothers me. Like Paris with her little dog in the purse Pooh started a trend where everyone expected us Teddys to hang out with tiny little studdering pigs, and I was having none of that. Back in the 80's I palled around with a pretty boss raccoon and he and I had some pretty epic days while Tony was off at school, believe you me. Lets just say that there's a reason I don't have a nose any longer and I'll also add that cocaine is a hell of a drug.

I guess the point of this diatribe is that I don't want all of you good people out there thinking that we're all simple brainless tarts like Pooh. I don't assume that you are all like your most visable examples like Paris, so why do you guys do that to us? There are millions of us out there, and for the most part we are not famous like Smokey, The Berenstain's or Rupert from Family Guy. We are just regular hard working Teddys who aim to make life better for the kid we decied to spend life with. To illustrate what is special about the best of our kind I leave you with this quote from blogger Ted Menten:

"An experienced Teddy Bear brings with him a lifetime of knowledge and experience; the wisdom of silence and the stillness in moments of great turmoil. The long-suffering patience that is learned when belonging to a child who is coming of age, and coping with the bewilderment that this period of time can bring, is what he does best. The experienced bear has seen life through the heart and eyes of a child grown to adulthood and perhaps even accompanied that adult all the way to the end of the road."

So true. I'll see you next Thursday!

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