Thursday, September 03, 2009

Breaking News: Cure for the Common Cold Found

While bigger and more complected ailments have been felled in the past, the common cold has long persisted as one sickness that researchers have not been able to conquer. Try as they may, they have not yet figured out a way to stay a head of the rapidly mutating virus that sweeps through schools, work places and families. Inky and I were saddled with a cold last week that effected up both differently, but severely in each case.

While Inky couldn't stop coughing, eventually all but losing her voice, I had to deal with 100% congestion and wicked post nasal drip. Day after day we fought with our symptoms and tried, fruitlessly, to get some rest. We drank lots of liquid and took some regular cold remedy while popping cough drops like candy. Thinking it was just a day or two long affliction we were running to the convenience store to get a 30 count bag of Halls just about every other day, which was not only annoying but also wasn't helping. So we went bulk, and that's when the breakthrough happened.

Not 12 hours after we got the 200 count bag of cough drops and the big box of the good Sudafed (you know, the kind you have to get from the pharmacist because people were using it to make Meth) I was cured. There it is: the cure for the cold. Just buy way more medicine than you need and you'll be left feeling better, and with a massive surplus of said remedy.

I await my Nobel Prize.

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