Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tales from the John

Its been a few months since I brought you a funny tale from the work bathroom, and I know you've been dying for more. So, here we go again. In the past I've told you about events that embarrassed me in the privy, but not so this time. Today someone else's face is red, or should be. The funny thing is; I don't think he was embarrassed. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

As I walked down the hall toward the bathroom I acquired a trailer. I could hear footsteps and whistling behind me and I soon realized I would not be alone in the bathroom. I walked to the urinal and the footsteps continued on to the stalls. Once there, the mysterious whistler proceeded to pee, so there was no need to wait me out to drop a deuce. When I was done, I walked to the sink and started to wash my hands.

This is when I saw the visage behind the whistle and found that it was one of my co-workers. As I washed my hands he struck up a conversation about cars which I held with him wile looking in the mirror. I shut the water off, turned to the towel dispenser and dried my hands, all the while continuing the conversation.

After about a minute or so, it dawned on me that this person hadn't washed his hands yet. I wondered if, perhaps, he was waiting for me to move so he could use the sink that I was blocking. Like, maybe it is his favorite sink or something. Hey, stranger things have happened, especially with this guy. So I made my way toward the door, and he ded something I hadn't planned on: He followed me out the door and continued talking to me about cars, deals and rentals. I couldn't believe he didn't wash his hands!

At my old job I once washed my hands twice just so one of my co-workers didn't think I was a pig. After doing my bid'ness and washing up I patted my pocket and realized my phone wasn't in it. I was 99% sure I had left it on my desk, but to be sure I walked back to the stall to check that it hadn't fallen out of my pocket in there. Upon seeing nothing I turned to leave, but at that moment another guy walked in. So I did what any week minded, self conscious person would do. I washed my hands again and then walked out while he was peeing. Because, it wasn't enough for me to know I had washed my hands, I needed for him to know. And somehow this seemed like the less crazy option when compared with saying: "Hey, I just want you to know that I already washed my hands and went back to look in the stall, so don't think that I'm not skipping it or anything."

I'd like to think that I am in a normal range of cleanliness: somewhere between filthy slob and constant hand sanitizer user. So I would think that my reactions would be what you would call normal or average. I don't think I'm some kind of bathroom prude, but maybe I'm wrong. Isn't it strange when one of your co-workers totally eschews normal public bathroom etiquette right in front of you? Or, am I some kind of crazy neat freak in hiding?


1 comment:

princess1128 said...

Even if he never normally washes up it would have been nice for him to go through the motions for your benefit. Eewww.....