Tuesday, January 27, 2009

High Score

When you're in the midst of a run of bad days, as I have been for awhile, you look for any event to act as your catalyst for change. In baseball, when you are mired in a hitting drought you seek out a slump-buster to set things right. Since I: A) am a married man B)have self esteem, and C) have respect for women, I have to look for other options to get out of this rut, and get back into the groove.

That's where games come into play for me. Sure I'm almost 33, but I love my playstation. Sometimes just sitting down to play Madden, MLB Baseball or NCAA Basketball can snap me out of it, not to mention the recuperative effects of a rampage on Grand Theft Auto. I don't have a playstation or a TV in my office, sadly, so when I'm faced with the need to kill time and/or decompress I turn to solitaire as do millions of other American workers.

So earlier today, while sitting on hold with someone I was trying to set a meeting with, I clicked open the solitaire program on my computer. I got a great spread of cards, including two aces, in the deal. Once those were placed in the piles above I made 8 or 9 moves before even clicking on the stock pile in the upper left. For a few moments it was like I was seeing two or three steps ahead, and my hand was working the mouse and clicking with fury. In that moment, I knew what it was to be all-powerful.

By the time the secretary came back on the phone, I had finished the game and it took everything in my power to keep myself from telling her that I had just reached my own high score: 6576 points in 119 seconds! (see screen grab above for the proof. That's right fuckers, I screen captured it for posterity/proof) That's less than two minutes people! I'll pause for a moment to let you all recover from the amazement while simultaneously basking in my accomplishment.

What's that you say? How do I know it was my all-time high score? Well, because I keep a file on my laptop named "all by myself" (get it?) where I record particularly high scores. I started this practice on my trip to Seattle last November, as I sat in the Nashville airport waiting for a connecting flight. My previous high was 6081 in 129 seconds, but back in November I was only at 4454/184 so, as you can see, I've made marked improvement.

I'm sure there are some people out there who don't see any value in shaving more than a minute off your best solitaire score (my boss, and her boss spring to mind) but most of the rest of us understand the importance of the little things in this life. So here I am, feeling a bit puffed up by my childish accomplishment, and I can't let the naysayers out there take that away from me. After all, as a wise man once said "If we give in to those people, we're giving in to all the cute and fuzzy bunnies in the world."

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