Thursday, November 13, 2008

Yuck. I'll Have the Crab Juice!

I popped into our local convenience store to pick up some milk last night, and I made a common mistake. Our supermarket and the convenience chain both use different cap colors to differentiate between types of milk, and I accidentally grabbed skim milk, and boy... does that stuff suck. I think I'd rather drink rancid yak piss before I ever put that garbage in my mouth again.

It is so thin that it doesn't even look like milk, let alone taste the same. Even 2% tastes a bit milky, but Skim tastes an awful lot like I would imagine a shot of milk in a glass of cold water would taste. I find it offensive in every way that one can find a thing offensive. If we hadn't phased out that retarded threat level color scale, I'd say that we should replace the top, most dangerous threat with very light white. I'm pretty sure there are starving people in Africa that would spit this crap out, and then use it to water their crop.

I have no other, more salient point here, other than to say: I am down right offended by the existence of skim milk. Just knowing that there are parents giving this to their kids all over the world makes me sad, in a way that only the words "President Palin" could replicate. In fact, I now decree that the term "skim milk" shall now be used whenever refereeing to something as the cheep knockoff version of something good. I used to use GoBots as my go to term for a low quality substitute, but now: Skim milk.


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