A few months Inky and I got new phones, mostly because we could get them for free from Verizon. So I picked the most expensive phone I could get for free thanks to my "new every two" promotion, which was the Motorola Moto w755, in black for me and purple for Inky. It does all the usual stuff, calling, texting, picture taking and so on, but it has one feature that has managed to impress the shit out of me, and in doing so has turned me into Morty Seinfeld.
My phone has a tip calculator! Just like "the Wizard" that Jerry said he bought hot, one of the many things my new phone can do it calculate the tip, and even split up the total check by the number of people in your party. Amazing! It really is the little things with me, but then again it's the little things that make life worth living. Say I'm having a meal with Inky, the XL's and another couple. We all get pretty similarly priced appetizers, drinks and entrees and the bill comes out to 177.56 with tax. Well if we're all paying with cash, and the waitress is a real bitch and won't split the check then all I have to do is open my phone and type in $177.56 and 20% if the service was good and I'll find that the tip should be $35.52 for a total of 213.08, which in turn would be 71.03 per couple. If we want to pay separately, then it would be $35.52, which creepily enough is the same amount as the tip. Who knew? My wizard that's who.
Now if I can just find Bob Sacamano's number in here, I can call and see if he can get me a few dozen of these so I can give them out to the members of my HOA in an effort to win the coveted spot as HOA president.