Since moving to my new office on the other side of campus, I've had a few changes to make. For one, I've had to get used to having a window on my door, which sometimes makes me feel like an animal on display at the zoo. I've also been able to shave time and mileage off my commute by cutting through the city, as opposed to taking the faster but more out of the way highway. But, this new route home is not without peril of it's own. And I'm not even talking about the gang infested streets of downtown York, either. No, the danger I refer to is the vortex of logic, chance and probability that is.....
The White Rose Triangle! It is formed by King Street to the north, S. Newberry Street to the east and a line at a 45 degree angle from the corner of Penn and King to the West to the corner of Princess and Newberry to the east. (as seen in the above picture. Mad props to google maps) Much like it's more famous cousin to the south, the Bermuda Triangle, the WRT is a place where things are lost. Unlike that area of the Western Atlantic it isn't ships and planes that go lost. No, in this anomalous swath of my hometown it is time that is lost.
You see, on my way home from work I have two choices of how to get though the triangle. One is to continue up Penn, and hang a right on King taking me to the corner of King and Newberry, where I would turn left at the light. The other is to turn Right onto Princess then hang left on Newberry which would, again, take me to the corner of King and Newberry, where I would go straight at the light. The problem is, good people, I never catch that light green, no matter which way I go. Never! This is not hyperbole either. Since first detecting this pattern, I've been taking special note of it, and alternating my route each day. In accordance with the scientific method, I've been through there at all times of day, and still the result is always the same. And so you see, that within this triangle, in downtown York, minutes of my life go missing each and every day.
What's worse, I've never rolled to a stop at the corner of King and Newberry, only to have the light turn green right away. No, I always seem to pull up to the light and have to sit through the whole cycle. In the two months that I've been paying close attention, I haven't once seen the light turn red as I approached it, thus giving me the chance to break the law, and break the hold the triangle has on my time. Ergo, the light is turning red at just the right moment to hold me at the corner of King and Newberry for the maximum amount of time.
And where is the UN on this? Or at least the Discovery Channel. Someone needs to take along and involved look at this phenomenon, probing the depths of this mystery until it's supernatural secrets can be unlocked. If accomplished, we may have a greater understanding of our universe, and I may be able to get home in under 20 minutes. Both are of high importance to me, and should be to you as well.