Thursday, September 04, 2008

Headline: Youth Still Waisted on Young.

Getting older is bad enough, but being constantly reminded of it is worse. One of the bad parts about working on a college campus is, I consistently have my face rubbed in how good the life of a college student is. What's worse, I happen to work on the campus of my Alma Mater, so I am haunted by the ghosts of good times had everywhere I look. It's not like I didn't see this coming, either. I sacrificed a few ticks on my GPA to be sure that I was always having a great time with my friends, and maximizing all that was available to me.

What I never was, however, was bored, insidiously or otherwise. The sound of my jaw hitting my office floor must have echoed for miles after reading this Article in the campus newspaper today. The headline, as headlines are supposed to do, caught my eye right away "What to do when society has not prepared you to entertain yourself." Are you shitting me? It seems to me that all our current society has done is give kids countless entertainment options. The fact that they have become more bored shows a complete and total failure of their imagination to develop, not for entertainment options to manifest.

If you can't come up with a way to spend your staggeringly plentiful free time as an 18 to 22 year old college student then you don't deserve the privilege of being: A) that young and B) a college student. Hell, if you can't figure out a way to "pass the time" while surrounded by five thousand other young, toned, hormone factories, then I should probably be worried about the propagation of the species. Lucky for us, there are places where it's really cold, and you can only "go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit" for so long before you get around to unprotected sex with the daughter of the Governor, thus ensuring that there will be a next generation. Have you ever seen Idiocracy? I digress.

Back to the point at hand, which is the poor, poor college students who are facing, as the article calls it, "creeping, insidious boredom that threatens so much of our nations youth." I can't believe there isn't a telethon for C.I.B.T.T.S.M.O.O.N.Y. Or M.A.C.I.B.T.T.S.M.O.O.N.Y.A.D.D. (read: mothers against creeping insidious boredom that threatens so much of our nations youth, and drunk driving.)

Sorry kids, you don't get to live a life like they have on The Hills, The OC, Gossip Girls or even the new 90210. What you do get is tons of free time in a week, in which 15 credit hours is considered "full time." You get fast metabolism's that allow you to be young and hot, which, when used right leads to being able to rub your junk against someone else's, with protection of course. You get a fresh start from high school which allows you to start anew, and cultivate friendship's based on similar personal interests, or, of course, a desire to partake in the aforementioned safe junk rubbing, perhaps leading to friendship.

Don't tell me you're bored. Jesus, I think I just had a flashback to my childhood, when, if I ever dared to say I was bored, my folks would point out all that I had before me. That, or put me to work around the house, which led to my desire to never be bored. Maybe that's what the writer means when she says "society has not prepared {them} to entertain {themselves}" that their expectations have not been appropriately set. Either way, it's time they realize that after this, boredom will set in for totally different reasons, all of which are hard to combat while still maintaining a job and a place to live.

Kudos to the writer of the article for, at least, pointing out all of the things to do around our little town. A further tip of the hat to her for not only talking about bars, clubs and chain restaurants, even if she did recommend the county park and lake because there is no "cover charge" perhaps belying her true disposition. Least I sound too curmudgeonly, I do know that there are plenty of good kids out there, seeing, doing and experiencing. It just saddens me that they appear to be in such a minority.


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