Monday, September 08, 2008

Greazy Law: Don't Get Two Kinds of Gas.

Well it's lunchtime again, and like millions of people in the workforce, I have to make a choice of what to eat. Do I go home, or eat out? If I eat out, what should I have? There are tons of choices, Pizza, Deli, Chain place, Chinese buffet, gas station, sandwich shop... wait, gas station? That can't be right, is it? People don't actually eat at gas stations do they? They do? On purpose? That's nasty!

I've got a few important rules to live by in life, that I call Greazy Laws. On Greazy law clearly says: You must never eat at a strip club, ever! I don't care if the place has a businessman's lunch special, or they have a happy hour buffet, the rule is simple, you never eat food at a place where people take their clothes off for a living. If I need to explain the finer points of this rule, I'm afraid there's not much I can do to help you.

The same goes with food made at Sheetz, WaWa or any other of these new Mega Convenience stores that have a deli in them. Do you really want to eat a sandwich made from deli meat, with a side of a mayonnaise based salad that was prepared by the kind of help these places get? I know what you're thinking: "But Greazy, can their help be any worse then what fast food places get?" The answer, sadly, is yes. Then you say "but Greazy, it's so cheep, and fast" to which I say: So are paper towels, but you shouldn't eat them either.

If you must eat shitty food (which I'm not castigating mind you) please do it from one of the recognized peddlers that I noted above. Hell, try going to one of my favorite lunch places (Panera) and get a salad. Whatever you do, no matter how hungry you are when you are gassing up, don't ever eat at a gas station! Do what the rest of the civilized world does and snack there. Get a bag of Chex Mix and a Mt. Dew or a King Sized Twix and a Vitamin Water. Just promise me you won't get a sub and a side of fries.

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1 comment:

XL said...

You forgot the best kinds of gas station snacks like pickled sausages and jerky not to mention the planters "hot nuts". Now that's what I'm talking about.

While we are on this topic Greazy, is it ever acceptable to eat at I don't know Sam's Club?? And I don't mean eat the free tastes but at the Sam's Club cafe....