Sunday, August 24, 2008

Quick Hits From The Road

I'm back at home after a few days on the road for work, and for fun. I always love to travel, but as always, it comes with a bunch of headaches too. You can't go from York Pennsylvania to Baltimore, Chicago, and Milwaukee without tripping over the odd occasional roadblock, but you also end up with some funny stories too. Here are a few of each:

While sitting in the stands at Wrigley Field, I saw a couple eating peanuts. Nothing Strange about that right? Wrong. They were eating the nuts whole, without shelling them. I'm sure there are all sorts of nutrients in peanut shells and all that, but they are also grown in the dirt, and rarely washed. Gross.

It is impossible to walk around Chicago's Chinatown without being assailed by countless homeless people who want to take your money in exchange for directions or suggestions. Maybe they should just stick to begging and stop trying to be helpful, its kind of off putting.

Milwaukee has absolute no mass transit, and there is nothing more annoying than spending almost a hundred bucks on cab rides just to see a baseball game and a brewery tour. You've got a beautiful town (I see why the Algonquins called it the 'good land') but how are out-of-towners supposed to see it if they can't hop a train here or there?

While being bombarded with some serious Wisconsin accents at the ballpark, XL and I stumbled on something that will always be funny: when a woman from Milwaukee puts a man's penis into her mouth and brings about orgasm through sucking, licking and stroking it is called... a blouw jaab.

The flight from Milwaukee to Chicago takes 16 minutes, which is about 10 minutes shorter than the cab ride from our hotel. Some other things that take longer then that flight: The line at security, the walk from the gate at US Cellular Field to our "seats" in the 500 level, A good dump after eating a multi course meal in Chinatown, a blouw jaab, the wait for the Lot A bus at BWI.

Some people don't take the time to think about how their actions impact other people when you travel. Like the ridiculous family in front of me in security at the Milwaukee airport who had liquid in all their bags, and had to be checked for about ten minutes. Worse then that, was the douche next to me on the plane who wanted to wait till everyone deplaned before getting up. "I like to be the last off" he said to me as I started to stand. "How nice for you, but I don't." I responded as I started to push past him before he turned his knees and let me by.

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