Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Nothin' to Show 'fer it.

I would venture to guess that you can't go more than a week without reading a story about some rich and or famous person who gets picked up for driving under the influence. They come from all walks of the good life, be it Athletes, Models, Movie Stars, Musicians, Politicians, rich kids or the super rich, like, oh I don't know the CEO of Brewing Company. (he should have also plead guilty to irony in the third degree.)

What is most maddening about this situation is the fact that these are people who can most certainly afford to, at the very least, call a taxi. If that is too low brow a solution for the rich and famous, why not hire a limo? Plus, it's not as if these people don't all have millions of hangers on, from whom they could certainly get a ride. Just tell part of your entourage that they are the one who is on the water that night and let them pilot your Escalade back to the crib. Is that so hard?

I think the only solution here is a Greazy Law, and so here it is: If you get caught driving drunk and you A) Have an annual income of more than $250,000. B) have a net worth of over 2 million. C) have a assistant, attache or posse member who is at your beck and call. Or D) you are recognizable to the average American as a famous person then you shall be put to death. I know, it's a bit stringent, but it's only fair. If you are willing to risk your life, the lives of others and your fame so you can get home from "Paddy McDollarshots" while possessing the motor skills of a parkinsons patient then you deserve to die



Angry Inky said...

If only Heath and Alan knew about Greazy Laws.

XL said...

If not death the likes of Paris and Lindsay should have to have a 10 way with a bunch of homeless guys and after they're done eating their soup, serve them some soup from the kitchen...