Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Performance Enhancing Enhancements

First and foremost, I'm going to have to ask you to forgive the amount of thought I've put into this subject. I throw myself on the mercy of the court and plead forgiveness since, at the very least the topic of this post basically boils down to T&A. That said, I ask: What the hell are the Miss Universe judges smoking? Miss Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, won the title, but I think they had to adjust the sash to get it to fit around her huge, fake tits. One look at this picture and you know for sure that Dayana is packing two large ziplock bags filled with silicon there, which at one point in time used to disqualify a woman from competing for the title of Miss Universe.

I've never been a fan of implants, and while they have their place (namely: on the wife of an older doctor, in porn and on either side of a pole) I don't think they should be in a beauty contest. If Laura Dundovic had gone out and gotten a couple of bowling balls strapped to her chest, would she have had a better chance to win? Laura is Miss Australia, and she has obvious natural beauty. So to does Taliana Vargas of Columbia who was the first runner up. (Laura on left and Taliana on right)

There is no doubting that both Miss Columbia and Miss Australia are knockouts with amazing bodies and beautiful faces. And Columbia placed first in both the evening gown and the swimsuit so... wait, what's that thumping sound? Oh, it's just my Dad rolling over in his grave knowing his straight son is the one writing this.

I didn't watch the show (I was scared away by Jerry Springer and Mel B as hosts) so I don't know how these two did in the "interview" but I'm sure the difference in the top 15 was negligible. So what are the judges using to make this decision? And, most importantly, how much weight does jug size carry? Pardon the chauvinistic pun. It's not as if Miss Venezuela is really all that pretty, she just has a rock hard body and big clown tits. So, basically the Miss Universe Pageant has just become a VH1 reality show then huh? If that's the case, that's cool, I now know to give it no attention whatsoever, as opposed to the passing glance I used to give it.

It's just that it's hard for me to let this kind of injustice stand. We already live in a world where people think Fergie is hot, and I can't stand to see more of that injustice perpetrated. If they were going to give the crown to a woman with fake knockers they could of at least gone with Miss Dominican Republic, Marianne Cruz, who also happens to be hot, as you can see here.

It's just sad to see what the Donald has wrought on this once proud and completely insipid competition. Now it is just a feeder system for the worlds entertainment reporters to be. Don't get me wrong, the world needs hot eye-candy in a ball gown to ask questions of famous people on the red carpet, but shouldn't they have to get their job the old fashioned way? By spreading their legs for some wretched old producer? When it's all said and done, I guess I am happy that pretty little Laura Dundovic will get to go on to become a Psychologist rather than being a model at some car truck and boat show somewhere. Look how pretty she looks in that footy jumper, holding that sherrin! As for Miss USA she became the second American in a row to fall on her ass. We're all so proud!



Angry Inky said...

What is it with you and all the foreign YouTube videos?

Greazy Tony said...

I don't think they get shut down as fast is all...

XL said...

Why do you know that this is the second year in a row that Miss USA fell on her ass?? Is there something we need to talk about?? October 11 is right around the corner after all!