Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Greazy vs Australia

Our trip to Australia is the gift that keeps on giving. We're still nursing our imported Tim Tams. We picked up the photos yesterday and spent the evening putting select shots in an album. Oh yeah, and we're still paying. Not for the trip, that's all paid for, but we're paying Australia none the less. I got a ticket in the mail today from the Victoria Police for a speeding infraction that took place on May 21st. Who the hell does that happen too? Me, that's who.

I was doing 108 in a 100 on the Princes Freeway as we passed through the town of Lara. The traffic camera snapped a photo of the cars license plate, and they issued a ticket to the cars owner: the rental company. The company kindly let the coppers know that the car was being driven by me, and gave them my info. Their kindness didn't end there, because not only did they dob me out to the cops but they charged me $50 for violating the terms of my rental agreement. That's full service!

Let me digress for a moment to say that, while I have received quite a few tickets in my life - although none for the last 5 years, having narrowly escaped one this winter - I have never gotten a ticket for so small an infraction. Doing 108 in a 100 sounds bad, but remember this is KPH not MPH. The limit of 100 KPH constitutes 62.14 MPH. (That's right fuckers, I did the math!) I was going 108 KPH or: 67.11 MPH for a total overage of 4.97 MPH! The only way you get a ticket for going less than 5 MPH over the limit in the US is if you are also drunk, Muslim or black. If you are all three, you get the ticket plus a trip to Guantanamo Bay. I have never, repeat: NEVER gotten a ticket for going 67. All my tickets have been in the 70s, which I find respectable and worthy of punishment.

I love Australia, but this is trying my patience. The question is: do I pay the ticket? Apparently if I don't then the next time I go down under, we will be pulled aside at arrival and forced to pay not only the ticket but an additional fine before we are let into the Country. For some people that is fine, they may think that they will never go back to Oz, but Inky and I still have a few things to cross off of our to do list (including your mom... aww, sick burn!)

I would love to think that if I skipped out on paying the ticket that I would start getting letters from the Solicitor General, and the Hopping Mad Collection agency like Bart did when he made his collect call to find out which way the water went in the toilet. Maybe they would even extradite me to suffer a booting, a penalty I would gladly accept, as long as I could take Inky along as my barrister -and to write "don't tread on me" on my butt too.

So I ask you, my readers, should I pay this ticket, or roll the dice?



XL said...

I say roll the dice and hope for the booting next time you go. Maybe it'll be a wing tip...

Greazy Tony said...

...through the gate?

Angry Inky said...

I would pay real money to watch Kevin Rudd kick your ass thru a gate. Sweet land of liberty.