At lunch today, one of my coworkers pointed out that Flavor Flav has said that he won't do a 4th season of his show "Flavor of Love." That's too bad, because it really elevated the social discourse, and will be missed. But, what will the legions of Flavor loving skanks do now? They were lining up to take their run at fame, money and an STD, but now they are like a ho without a corner to stand on.
I say that VH1 should go through with the casting for a Flavor of Love 4, but then use the women they get for a special crossover series: Flavor of Rock. The women who think they are vying for Flav's love will instead find Bret Michaels waiting for them. Think of the sociological ramifications of this show. It will be a case study of what happens when subcultures collide, and framed in the racial and feminist contextual ethos of the current Presidential campaign it will shine a light on...
Fuck it. There would be no redeeming value to it what so ever, but it would be funny as shit. For starters, would Brett give the girls nicknames like Flav does? While Flav doles out names like: New York, Hoopz, Prancer, Hotlanta, Black, Prototype, Deelishis, Buckeey and Nibblz, (I could go on, but won't) Brett has always allowed the girls to use their own names, and/or stage names.
I would also insist that the show be shot in the same fashion that F.O.L is, down to the wardrobe. So Brett will have to sport Flav's ridiculous clothes (top hats, clocks and all) rather than his own (fake hair, bandanna etc). For further tinkering, neither Big Rick or Big John would be the "side kick/Clock or backstage pass hander-outer." We would place Chamo in that job, only we would ask him to really play up the whole "gay latin guy" thing. He's been a bit understated in his two turns on I Love N.Y. Additionally, the role of Bret's confidant/translator would be filled by Michelle "Sister Patterson" Patterson, enabling him to rely on a mother's guidance (since his has got to be 90 by now) when picking from the women.
I don't know about you folks, but I would never miss an episode of Flavor of Rock, and I ask you to join with me in calling on VH1 to make this show, post haste.