It shouldn't be a hard thing to do, hell we've all been doing it since we were born, but there you are. I can't fall asleep anymore. I haven't gotten more than 5 hours for 5 straight days, and let me tell you, it's beginning to get old real quick. I'll trudge up to the bedroom at a decent hour, and nothing happens. Even when I employ all my old third shift tricks, like playing soft music, reciting lines to a poem over and over in my head, or even reading right before I lay down, nothing! On more than one try this week, I had to get up and restart the whole ritual, which is just counter productive.
I've got a lot going on in my life right now, and for some reason my brain just wont shut off when bedtime comes. The more I try and stop thinking about meetings I need to set up or tasks I need to accomplish, the more of them occur to me. You know that feeling you get when you realize you haven't paid your mortgage on the day it's due, well, I'm having that for an hour or two at a time each night. The worst part is that it's in my head now, and I am even stressing about stressing too much to be able to sleep.
I won't take sleeping pills, and I don't drink, so I have to slay this demon on my own. So tonight at, oh I don't know, let's say 10:00, I'll take the long walk up my steps and stare down my adversary, the Captain, and the battle will be joined. I pray that I'll be successful, and that I'll fall asleep on the job.