Friday, January 04, 2008

I Was Almost Victorious!

Imagine how excited I was the first time I saw one of those stupid Burger King commercials showing people freaking the fuck out over the loss of the Whopper. I have waged a one goomba war on BK for the last few years to try and make them discontinue the use of the term Whopper for their sandwich. As an Italian-American I object to the use of any term that my people find offensive no matter how plain and usual the word seems to the public at large. I call it the Imus rule: If we say it's offensive and we threaten to boycott your business then you better stop.

I know what you're going to say: "But greazy, isn't the pejorative term WOP not WHOP?" Yes, yes it is, but let me ask you this: if Taco Bell started selling a new menu item called a Sphik, how long do you think it would take La Raza to boycott them? Or if KFC introduced a new item called Koonz how long do you think it would be until Al Sharpton was there? I say spelling is irrelevant (and anyone who's ever read my blog closely can back me up on that) and it's pronunciation that is important. So it is the duty of every American to stop buying Whoppers malted candies and the BK Whopper from this day forward.

*Writers note: please observe that this was written tongue in cheek, and understand that I think the term Wop, Dego and guinea are hilarious.

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