Sunday, December 30, 2007

Just Cause She Dances Go-Go, That Don't Make Her a Ho, No.

I grew up 25 miles from the biggest, best city in the world: New York. I now live 25 miles from the small town that was embroiled in the "Intelligent Design" kerfuffle a few years back. I kind of went from the penthouse to the outhouse so to speak, but, I did it to myself. It's not as if I was sentenced to to 10 years hard time in this place or anything, I moved of my own free will... twice! This is the problem that confounds me whenever something overly redneckie occurs in my small town in the middle of Pennsylvania. Whenever I shake my head at the religious hypocrites in York County, I try and remind myself why we moved back in the first place: cost of living.

Inky and I bought a 2200 square foot town house for less then a lot of people in New Jersey pay for their car. Our taxes are low (by Pennsylvania standards) and we are in close proximity to the necessary retail opportunity's needed to live the American Dream. All in all it think we still come out on the positive side of the ledger, but when I read a story like this one in the local paper, I'm ready to up and move. The Right are all about the chasing the almighty dollar, and normally they don't have a problem how you do it. You can make products that kill, just don't get someone hard. You can systematically ruin vast tracts of land, just don't facilitate breast showing. This guy wanted to make a few greenbacks and he was cockblocked. (The Paper also used a flawed simile when the compared him to Larry Flynt who started in published pornography before eventually opening strip clubs years later, but I digress)

They're just boobs people! I don't know what these folks think goes on in a strip club, but, I like to refer to the seminal (no pun intended) work of Mr. Chris Rock: There is no sex in the champagne room. That is reserved for rub and tug massage parlors, of which York has scores... and not the good kind of Scores, which is ultimately my point. In a free country, who are you to tell me I can't watch a grown, consenting woman pick a folded dollar bill up with her ass cheeks? What is so tawdry about a naked woman, or man for that matter, that gets these people all rilled? They don't seem to have a problem sending their kids to school looking like hookers in training, and I'm talking about grade school kids here not just trampy high school girls.

What I wouldn't do to live in a more progressive state, county or town. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I want everyone's town to look like a red light district. I don't think you should have to explain what goes on in side that building with the giant neon breasts that flash between red and green, a little discretion is in order. That said, I also think if a guy wants to get a lap dance he shouldn't have to drive to Baltimore, Harrisburg or Lancaster County. Lancaster! If you are more strict with your zoning of a tittie bar than Lancaster you are in trouble.

Until I figure a way to balance cost of living, my lazy lifestyle and my desire to be near sordid places of employ, I will go on living in this bastion of unfocused moral outrage.


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