Even watching the kids rip into their presents couldn't fully restore my Christmas spirit. I tried to get myself into the Christmas swing the same way Roger the Alien did: "I stole his holiday spirit. And that made my holiday spirit grow stronger, because tha... that's how it works right? Like Highlander... there can be only one... I, I've ha... I've had like eight cups of egg nog AND THIS MAKES TWELVE!" But alas that didn't help either, since there really isn't all that much true spirit out there.
Why is that Greazy?
I'm glad you asked, the answer is Lawyers. People in general suck pretty bad, but they are limited in their scope. Without the skilled services of a barrister there is only so much trouble they can cause on their own. But, if they have council, they can really act a fool. Take as example A the case of a few folks in Boston who are embroiled in a legal showdown that involves a lotto ticket, a Christmas celebration among friends, and the niggling issues of verbal contract law. This story reads like O. Henry on acid, or an episode of The Maury show:
While participating in a Yankee Swap amongst friends a Homeland Security employee, Franco Sapia opened a $5 Lotto Ticket. As per the unflinchingly ridge rules of Yankee Swap, his gift was fair game to anyone who picked after him. And so it was that Brenda White took the ticket from him, saying at the time that she would split any winnings with Sapia. When she scratched the ticket off, she saw that it was a $200,000 winner. Now they are embroiled in a court showdown because Sapia wants his 100K and he is using his girlfriend, Karla Sciuto, as a witness that White entered into a verbal contract. Oh yeah, Karla Sciuto is Brenda White's sister. Damn!
That is a case of a few normal people getting caught up in the craziness that accompanies large sums of money. Don't get me wrong, if a fifth of a million is on the table there are a lot of my "friends" I would kick in the ribs to get at it, but, that's because I'm po'. What's Toby Keith's excuse? He just won a multimillion dollar judgement against the owners of a bus company who's bus was involved in an accident that killed Keith's father. The 2.8 million is intended to clear Keith's father of being at fault in the accident that killed him. That's great, but what the hell does he need that money for? If Toby wants to set the record straight that his dad didn't die because he was bumped from behind and went across the median, but because when that happened the bus couldn't stop in time, then that's fine. But, did he really need more money? I bet it was the lawyers idea to "put a boot in their ass" and by there I mean Pedro and Elias Rodriguez who own the Bus Company.