Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Please God... Someone Make Her Stop!

I posted the other day about the enjoyment I got from watching the Australian part of Live Earth. It was chock-a-block of fantastic performers who know how to sing, write and play.

England wasn't so lucky.

While watching the coverage of the London show, I happened to flip by while the Black Eyed Peas were on. I'm not a fan of theirs, as i feel they have no real talent to speak of, but at least they had that "Where Is the Love" song to sing that has a good message. But then it happened. They let Fergie take center stage to sing her new single "Big Girls Don't Cry."

This might just be the worst song ever written, a fact made worse by the fact that the song that previously held that title was "My Humps" also sung by Fergie. It was hard enough to stomach this beast-faced, pants-pissing ho when she was faux-rapping. But, semi-earnest and an attempt at tender really make me want to puke.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this song is a bigger affront to our way of life than President Bush. And if you know me, that's saying something. OK, I take it back. Bush is still the bigger danger, but young people actually listen to Fergie, which puts her at the top of the list.

If you haven't heard the song, take some time to make yourself sick by clicking here, and try not to laugh too hard when she coos "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket." More importantly, try not to be too grossed out by the last line: "We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds. But it's time for me to go home. It's getting late, dark outside. I need to be with myself and center, clarity. Peace, Serenity."

Wow. Just... wow.


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