Monday, May 21, 2007

Hey Wachovia, I Don't Like You Like That

Has anyone seen the new Wachovia ads that feature the tag line "At Wachovia we're absolutely obsessed with satisfying our customers." Really? Obsessed, Satisfied? Are these words anyone relates with banking? As a person who used to work for a huge national bank who liked making broad, far-reaching statements about how much they loved their Customers (with a capital C) I can tell you it's all bullshit. Wachovia isn't the least bit concerned with your satisfaction, nor are they obsessed with it.

So Please excuse me while I address Wachovia directly.

Come on Wachovia, aren't you getting a bit creepy here. I told you it was over between us, but you just won't leave me alone. You never listened to me when I told you what I wanted, what I needed to be satisfied. I wanted lower fees, fair interest rates and someone who could answer my questions from time to time. Sure, you said these things were important to you too, but we both know that wasn't true. Would it have killed you to tell me you liked me from time to time Wachovia? Maybe that I was pretty? And before you tell me that I'm just being paranoid remember that I've seen things from the bank's side before. I spent 6 1/2 years watching how MBNA treated our customers, all the while saying things like "Think of yourself as a Customer" to the people who worked there.

We all know you're just grasping at straws here Wachovia. You crossed the line and scared us away and now you're trying to get us back by saying that you care about how we feel. It's a little late for that, isn't it Wachovia? Your words say you care, Wachovia, but your actions say that you see us as possessions and will stop at nothing to have us. You're pathetic Wachovia, look at what you've turned into. There was a time, back before you changed your name from First Union to Wachovia, when people said you treated them well. They spread the word to friends and so you grew in popularity and reputation. But, then it all started to come apart, and now you've resorted to begging and making empty statements about how "obsessed" you are with satisfying us.

Pull it together Wachovia!

You have no chance at satisfying us, or should I say the US. A recent AP survey concluded that only 1 in 4 Americans feel satisfied with the state of the Country, so what are your chances of satisfying us? All you care about is making money, Wachovia, and it has limited your ability to please us.

There it is, Wachovia. As long as you're more concerned with making money and being cool in front of all your NYSE buddies, (who, buy the way, can't satisfy us anymore either) then we'll never get back together. Now, don't make me get a restraining order against you Wachovia. Putting ads on TV telling me how much you want to make me happy is just too little, too late. And Wachovia... don't even think about showing up on my front lawn with a boom-box over your head playing "In Your Eye's" because that would demean what we could've had.

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1 comment:

Angry Inky said...

Love It. Tell Wachovia you are this close to getting a TRO against them.