Thursday, March 22, 2007

And People Say We Don't Export Anything...

I've been a lot of places around the world, and the thing I find most appealing about world travel is the differences. Sadly, there seem to be less and less differences these days, as Paul Kelly once sang: "Every fuckin' city looks the same." There are less and less unique parts of pop culture as each year passes and as more country's embrace the stupid parts of our way of life. One place I have not yet been is the Holy Land, and it is definitely on my list. Even though I am no longer a participant in organized religion, I still appreciate the draw of an area of the world that has been the center of most of humanity's history, and also the root of most of our problems.

There is so much to see in the Holy Land, and in taking that kind of risk to travel to an area like this I wouldn't want to miss anything. Let's do the list: The Dome of the Rock, The Western Wall, The Temple Mount, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and Hooters. Oh yeah, our shame is complete we are sending one of our trashiest and worst exports to a place were no one wants it. The press release announcing the company's plans to expand into the Holy Land say they will go to Tel Aviv rather than near any religious sites. Oh, good! That will shield them from religious fanatics who object to women being sexual in any way.

Here's my conundrum. I have no problem with sexuality, and even less of a problem with people making money on it. I don't find it degrading or offensive, unless someone is forced to do it against their own accord. I do think it would be easier to take if the food didn't suck so bad. I've been to 3 Hooters in my life time, which is 3 too many as far as I'm concerned. The first was in Baltimore's inner Harbor where it was well known the "Hooters Girls" didn't card for beer sales, and we were 19 and wanted beer. The second was in Philly on a sales call with a client who chose the location. The last was here in my hometown of York, where my buddies wanted to watch football and eat wings, I didn't see what was wrong with Damon's. Each and every time the food was retched. The wings are always way to greasy, as is just about everything they sell. The burger was rubbery, and had a strange taste.

I'm also too smart for the game they perpetrate there. When the girl with her tits and ass hanging out comes over and runs her finger on my back while taking my order, I know its part of the job. South Park did a great job of illustrating the way these girls are trained to reel week and stupid men in. Butters just kept going back to Raisins because he thought the girls were into him, and I've seen it at Hooters before too. The last time I went to watch football, it was December and a guy came in with gifts for all the girls, and we're talking DVD players and jewelery here.

Alas, one more stupid part of our culture is being thrust on another country, just adding to the reasons the world now sees us as the lotto winner at the end of the street. We're garish and common and sure we have a ton of money, but it's not like we earn it anymore. There were generations of this country that made stuff and were world leaders, now we start up crappy restaurants and open them in other countries.


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