Friday, March 30, 2007

At Least He Has Some Perspective.

The Other day Eddie Griffin (of Undercover Brother fame) wrecked a car that was worth more then most people's dream home. He was doing a promotion for the movie Redline and was turning laps in Producer Daniel Sadek's Ferrari Enzo, when he lost control and wrecked the car. This is the second time someone has destroyed one of these Ferraris of which only 400 were ever made. The first time was last year when a Swedish mobster split his Enzo in half by hitting a pole at 199 miles per hour. I'll say this; the safety equipment in these cars must be amazing, because both Stefan Eriksson and Griffin walked away from the wrecks. That's what $643,330 will get you, but only if you picked your Enzo up new. If you want to buy a used Enzo you will have to drop more than twice the original sticker price. Try that with your Mini Van!

After wrecking the Enzo Griffin said "Undercover Brother's good at karate and all the rest of that, but the brother can't drive." Good to see his sense of humor didn't get damaged in the wreck. For his part, at least Griffin was on a track, and in a car that was legal in the US. Eriksson had imported not one, but two Enzos from the UK with out registering them, or bothering to put California plates on them. At the time of his accident the supercar still had it's British license plate.... and we're worried about terrorists sneaking in a tiny bomb?!?

When the owner of the car that Griffin wrecked was asked about how he was feeling he responded by saying he had "mixed feelings." He said "I'm glad to hear Eddie came out of the crash OK, but my dream car got destroyed." After he took some time to reflect he came back with a somewhat more balanced observation saying "There's people dying every day. A lot of worse things are happening in the world."

Yeah. Like people having cars that cost enough to feed the continent of Africa for a month.


Thursday, March 29, 2007

Show Review: "SNL: Staring Peyton Manning"

In the end, I'm sure Peyton Manning approached his staring roll as host of Saturday Night Live the same way he prepared for the Superbowl. I bet he watched tape of Tom Brady's turn as host a few years ago, and I just bet he pulled the cast together and pumped them up to have a great show.

After watching the whole show a few times, and a select number of the skits a few more times, I can say it's one of the funniest episodes of SNL I've seen in a long time. This cast is really starting to pull together, and there are a lot of really funny members, with Darrell Hammond as their elder statesman. The likes of Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, and Andy Samberg are turning out top notch skits, and actual funny characters.

Manning was also very good, despite the obvious limitations that come with being a fish out of water. He wasn't too stiff and could only be seen to read from the Cue cards a few times. He had a few good lines in the "Penelope" sketch with Wiig where he was confronted with a woman who had to say she had done more than all in attendance at a party. "Well, I've lost 20 pounds...sooooo"

He played himself in a mock United Way spot, but he should have had a goatee, because he was "the Evil Peyton Manning." Inky and I both almost fell off the sofa when he gathered the kids around and told them "I'll kill a snitch. I'm not saying I have. I'm not saying I haven't." We also hit the back button on the Tivo every time he hit a kid with the football. I'm sorry to all the parents out there but it's just funny when kids get hurt.

Most athletes come on SNL and play themselves a few times, and I was happy to see that Peyton only really did that once. He did have a few other sports related characters including the guy who has a near perfect bracket, but is losing to a woman who knows nothing about sports. He also did a crazy dance as the captain of a basketball team that was getting their asses handed to them.

In the end I have to say 'that's good work out of you' Peyton, The Cast and the Writers of SNL. It was a quality hour and a half of TV. And Will Forte was fantastic on the news. "Jack Abramov. But I barely know Abram." Classic. If you don't get it, say it out loud.


Monday, March 26, 2007

Now That's What I Call a Weekend!

I was out of town for work all day Friday, and my travels took me to the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Since I was in the domain of the Great and Wonderful XL, I got a chance to check out his new house, eat at a Japanese Steak House (which in Japan would just be called a Steakhouse), read old comic books and watch Clerks II again. It was a fantastic way to spend a Friday night, and I was just getting warmed up.

Saturday I drove back to PA and spend some quality time with the wife before taking a nap, which is out of character for me. I needed the extra rest because on Saturday night Inky and I met up with one of our friends at Scores in Baltimore to see Porn Starlet Janine. She puts on a hell of a show, and looks better then almost any other 38 year old woman you will ever see nude. I was a bit taken aback by the gender break down in the crowd, however. She has been popular in both porn and mainstream for over 20 years, so she has quite a bit of drawing power. But, this was the first time I had been to a strip club where there were as many woman as men. In fact, Inky had to wait on line to use the ladies room, while I walked right into the men's room which defies all conventional wisdom in regards to gender proportions at gentleman's clubs.

I guess the time has come to cast off that title: Gentleman's Club. First and foremost, most of the yucks that show up at these places could gentlemen. And more importantly there has been quite a surge in the amount of women, both Gay and straight who frequent titty bars in the years since I started going in 1994. On Saturday night there were groups of young, hip, College Lesbians who no doubt enjoyed the years of "women only" porn Janine was famous for. There were also a very large number of couples in attendance, but there were other groups of women who were there with out men, and easily could have been straight.

When it was all said and done, all in attendance had a great time, and saw a great show. Inky and I got our picture taken with the star her self and then we braved the fog on the way home. Sunday we relaxed in the morning and had dinner with friends that night wrapping up a fantastic weekend. On tap for me is a trip to Cooperstown with XL next weekend! Let the good times roll.


Thursday, March 22, 2007

And People Say We Don't Export Anything...

I've been a lot of places around the world, and the thing I find most appealing about world travel is the differences. Sadly, there seem to be less and less differences these days, as Paul Kelly once sang: "Every fuckin' city looks the same." There are less and less unique parts of pop culture as each year passes and as more country's embrace the stupid parts of our way of life. One place I have not yet been is the Holy Land, and it is definitely on my list. Even though I am no longer a participant in organized religion, I still appreciate the draw of an area of the world that has been the center of most of humanity's history, and also the root of most of our problems.

There is so much to see in the Holy Land, and in taking that kind of risk to travel to an area like this I wouldn't want to miss anything. Let's do the list: The Dome of the Rock, The Western Wall, The Temple Mount, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and Hooters. Oh yeah, our shame is complete we are sending one of our trashiest and worst exports to a place were no one wants it. The press release announcing the company's plans to expand into the Holy Land say they will go to Tel Aviv rather than near any religious sites. Oh, good! That will shield them from religious fanatics who object to women being sexual in any way.

Here's my conundrum. I have no problem with sexuality, and even less of a problem with people making money on it. I don't find it degrading or offensive, unless someone is forced to do it against their own accord. I do think it would be easier to take if the food didn't suck so bad. I've been to 3 Hooters in my life time, which is 3 too many as far as I'm concerned. The first was in Baltimore's inner Harbor where it was well known the "Hooters Girls" didn't card for beer sales, and we were 19 and wanted beer. The second was in Philly on a sales call with a client who chose the location. The last was here in my hometown of York, where my buddies wanted to watch football and eat wings, I didn't see what was wrong with Damon's. Each and every time the food was retched. The wings are always way to greasy, as is just about everything they sell. The burger was rubbery, and had a strange taste.

I'm also too smart for the game they perpetrate there. When the girl with her tits and ass hanging out comes over and runs her finger on my back while taking my order, I know its part of the job. South Park did a great job of illustrating the way these girls are trained to reel week and stupid men in. Butters just kept going back to Raisins because he thought the girls were into him, and I've seen it at Hooters before too. The last time I went to watch football, it was December and a guy came in with gifts for all the girls, and we're talking DVD players and jewelery here.

Alas, one more stupid part of our culture is being thrust on another country, just adding to the reasons the world now sees us as the lotto winner at the end of the street. We're garish and common and sure we have a ton of money, but it's not like we earn it anymore. There were generations of this country that made stuff and were world leaders, now we start up crappy restaurants and open them in other countries.


Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Am I Creepy?

Ok! Ok! Ok! I admit It, I'm almost 31 years old. I have a wife, a mortgage and I save money for retirement. From time to time I also donate money to non profit groups both because it is the right thing to do and a tax break. One of the groups I give money to is my Alma Mater, which any college educated American should do.

Not only does it contribute to the education of those who come after you, but it helps the school in it's rating and bonding processes to have a high rate of alumni participation. When they say any size gift helps, they mean it. It's like casting a vote for the place where you got your education.

Each dollar we give to our alma maters helps to improve the school so that the whiny, coddled brats of today can have flat screen TV's in the student union and state of the art libraries, gyms and smart classrooms. Unfortunately they don't seem to like it when we're around, even if we're bringing them better facilities. At least one such brat is upset that we didn't get to improving the school faster. You see, he only got to use the brand new multi-million dollar gym and fitness center for one year. Which is of course one year longer then any of the people who dug deep in their pockets to pay for it.

In his article in the student news paper, Adam ZeDouche (not his real name) makes a lot of far reaching and uninformed statements about his school and my alma mater. One look at this numb-nuts and you figure he may just be mad at the world because in 4 years on campus no girls has ever played with his junk, which is enough to make any dork awfully rankled.

Most of what he said was just classic nonsensical urban legend, like our school going from a College to a University which will never happen, but has been talked about as an imminent change since I was a Freshman. That was all just a sign of someone not doing his homework, and I can't figure out why. It's not like this guy was spending the night drinking and fucking... cause that's not on his agenda.

He complains that no one has ever heard of the school, outside our small city. One wonders why Captain Fuck Stick chose to come to this school no one had ever heard of? Would Harvard and Georgetown not return your calls, just like every girl you've ever felt all funny inside about? Some of us who have actually been out in the real world for internships and jobs have been doing a great job enhancing the reputation of the school. We've also run into the people who have graduated before us and started the process of making our little affordable school more well known.

I guess he doesn't appreciate the work we've done, or the reputation that we have helped to earn for the school. Why? Because we are creepy. "The only chance we'll have to wander though the new Humanities Center will be as creepy alumni" he says bemoaning the fact that he won't be able to take a class in this fantastic retrofitted building. A building, by the way, that was our shitty old workout center, pool, and gym when I was on campus, and that also housed the bookstore before our great new one was built my sophomore year.

That's called progress, and sometimes the only way you get to see the progress is after you've graduated. You walk around campus with your college friends and reminisce about what things were like when you were there. If that makes us creepy already then I'm running out and getting a trench coat so I can start flashing people. I might as well earn it, something this kid will have to become familiar with once he's out in the big, bad world. Douche!


Monday, March 19, 2007

Record Reivew: The Fratellis

Ok. Are you ready for the next, next, next, next big thing out of the UK? It was about this time last year when I was gushing about the debut record from Arctic Monkeys, and I still think they are great. In fact with their new record coming out this year, I've been in a very UK state of mind, what with acts like Camera Obscura, Lily Allen, Art Brut, The Long Blondes, The Good The Bad and The Queen, and now three boys from Glasgow: The Fratellis. If you're anything like me then your first thought about where these blokes got their name is the movie Goonies, but they swear that's not the case.

What is crystal clear is that this group is fantastic. Most people out there will know at least one of their songs, since "Flathead" has been featured in Ipod ads for a while now. It is a classic toe-tapping, head banging, Pub tune. It's catchy melodies have already grabbed you when the chorus chimes in with it's "ba da bop, ba da da doe's, and makes you want to sing along. At time's it almost seems as if they have an endless stream of influences ranging from The Beatles and 60's sounds on Everybody Knows You Cried Last night and to a kind of Flogging Molly sound on Chelsea Dagger. Then there's a track like The Gutturati? that brings a lot of those aspects together. There's even something for skapop fans on the 2:48 For the Girl.

It would be my guess that the Fratellis are a group who would appeal to a wide swath of Brit rock music fans. From old school British Invasion enthusiasts to both sides of the Oasis vs. Blur debate there's something for all. Lead singer John (Lawler) Fratelli has all of the polish of a veteran singer yet plenty of accented ruff spots that provide grit to his vocals. Musically, the three piece is tight, and has a live feel to many of their tracks accented by the drinking-song like sing-along choruses. Plus to top it all off, the Album Cover is a fantastic 50's pinup style, and anyone who knows me knows that scores big points with me. I think you should head out and pick up the US relase of this record, which dropped on 3/13 and crank your stereo and raise a pint!


Saturday, March 17, 2007

The Hair Up There.

Like many other people who have watched a University of Texas basketball game this year, there was a freshman who caught my eye. Unlike most of the other people, I was not noticing Kevin Durant, DJ Augustin or even Damion James, who are all fantastic freshman players at UT. I couldn't help notice Matt Hill, who got some extra minutes when Durant twisted his ankle in a loss to Kansas back on March 3rd. It wasn't because he came in and scored a ton of points in Durant's stead, because he only averages 2.3 PPG and 2.6 RPG this season off the bench. It was the hair, man.

Let's put it this way, if Hill does get a start next year once Durant has jumped to the NBA, the play-by-play announcer could use a line from the classic movie Fletch. Matt Hill starts at Forward, wearing number 21. He stands 6-9, 7-0 with the afro.

I mean.....damn! That's one of the finest white-boy afro's I've seen in my life. It's perfectly round, and that doesn't happen by accident. More impressive then it's shape is it's size, easily giving him another 3 to 4 inches of height. That boy must spend hours making his caucasio that fly. Never mind the fact that it doesn't even seem to bounce that much as he runs, so the internal support structure must be amazing. In a game played by 70% black players I don't know if it's more likely that the black guys give him shit for his hair, or if they love it. I watch a lot of college basketball at all levels, and I've seen a lot of old school afros but I think Hill is in the running for MVA, Most Valuable Afro.

And in the end, let's face it, his "jew-fro" is funnier because it's red. If it were jet black it wouldn't have the same effect, but as it is now he looks like Kyle Broflovski. I wish Matt and the Longhorn's the best of luck in the NCAA Tournament because I would love to see that head of hair make it to the final four. It's just a shame they don't give out medals for first, second and third like they do in high school, because I would love to see someone have to put a medal over that dude's melon. Hook 'em Horns!


Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Bracket

Opening day of Baseball, The NFL Draft, Superbowl Monday, and The first day of the NCAA Basketball Tournament. These are the 4 sports Holiday's I normally observe. I don't like to work on opening day, even though I haven't gone in two years to see the Orioles because they blow. This year I'll be observing that holiday on May 15th when the York Revolution open their home season. The NFL Draft is a weekend event, but In some of my jobs I've had to work Saturdays and it's been necessary to call out on that day. Much like Presidents Day or Memorial Day, the holiday for the Superbowl is observed on the following Monday. I'm at work today against my better intentions because I'm trying to save vacation days so Inky and I can return to Oz some time in the next year and a half.

Being at work hasn't taken away from my joy, however, since I took the time to fill out brackets for The Men's and Women's DI tourney, the NIT and The men's DIII tourney. I have Wisconsin, UCLA, Georgetown, and Ohio St. as my Final four for the DI men's, UNC, Maryland, UConn, and Duke in the Women's and Michigan, NC State, Vermont and Syracuse in the NIT. The DIII tournament starts two weeks before the DI one so the final four is already set and I have three of them still alive with Virgina Wesleyan, Wooster and Amherst still kicking. I picked Wisconsin Stevens Point to make it back to Salem, but they were knocked off by Washington University.

My champion picks are: Men's DI: Ohio St over UCLA, Women's: UNC over Duke, NIT: NC State over Syracuse, Men's DIII: Wooster over Stevens Point.

So far so good. I hope you all enjoy the holiday.


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Youth of Fountain.

It was less then 10 years ago that I was a college aged guy. At 20, I don't think I understood what being 20 was all about, and I sure as hell didn't have an idea of what 30 would be like. I took for granted the ability to jump out of bed (at Noon) after just 5 hours of sleep and go out and play rough touch football with my buddies. I also had a brain in my head, and understood that there were repercussions for my actions. To that end, I never once got behind the wheel of a car after drinking. I also never tried to drink my age in shots or drank so much that my life was in jeopardy. Neither did any of my friends, which is not to say that there weren't stupid college kids then, because there were.

But, doesn't it seem like there are more of them now?

There are more Antonella Barba's out there now-a-days, and that's a fact. Part of the reason for that is the advent of MySpace, camera phones, and Girls Gone Wild crews at spring break. Call it facilitation of an urge that may lay dormant in certain types people. One of the other things that brings out exhibitionism in the 18 to 22 set is: spring. Boy are they sprung, the warmth hit campus today and the student body is busy showing off their bodies.

As I walked past the big fountain in the middle of campus today I over heard a group of frat boy types daring a girl to jump into the fountain. The guys all had their shirts off, and of course the girl was wearing a white tank top. I kept walking so I could be on time to meet with one of my old professors, so I can't tell you if she took the plunge or not. I'm guessing she did, though, and why not? Antonella's going to get a boatload of cash thanks to her dip in the fountain at the National WWII memorial. Paris Hilton made herself famous by getting boned on camera, and the net is filled with thousands of others that didn't think before they stripped.

I worry about this crop of college students, both male and female. They grew up with email addresses and most of them have had a MySpace or Facebook page since high school. In a year or two we will have a freshman class that watches more YouTube then TV. There is no editorial process to their media, which is both good and bad. They can more easily let their voice be heard, which is a democratization of media. However, that only means something, if they have anything worth saying. Plus, the chances are far better that they will be posting photos of themselves naked in a fountain, rather than their stance on the war.

I have nothing against nudity either on TV, in print media or on the Internet. In the end, I'm just a snob about my naked people, in that I'd like it if they could rub a few brain cells together as easily as they do their boobies. As far as I'm concerned: if you've got it, post it on MySpace, or or whatever. Just take some time to learn something in your classes while your at it, so I don't have to hear you say the movie 300 is an allegory for the Iraq war. "Like, you know, cause the Greeks are like us and stuff. And the Persian people are Muslims or something, so they're the terrorists... oh wow look! You can see the bottom of my ass in these shorts! That's so fetch!"

The PR advance for the Lynn Peril book College Girls (see the cover above) says:

"From her first appearance in the mid-19th century, the college girl has been a lightning rod for criticism, advice, and regulation not to mention some enduring pop-cultural images. Was she a geek who wears glasses? Or a sex kitten in a teddy? College became a place where women found self-esteem, yet films like Sex Kittens Go to College (1960) and rafts of naughty pictorials in men's magazines reflected a lingering distrust of the educated woman."

I distrust the education of both men and women these days. It doesn't seem to be sticking.


Monday, March 12, 2007

Movie Review: Amazing Grace

Rednecks to the left of me, slack-jawed teens to the right and they were all there to see 300. Or at least Zodiac, but few of them if any, who still had their own prostates and were able to make estrogen were there to see Amazing Grace. It's a shame really because this film is what makes movies so worth it. I like to be entertained as much as the next guy, and I will see 300 at some point, but what will drive me to it is a different ethos then other people. While most want to see it solely because they liked Sin City, or comic books in general, I am into the idea of a graphic depiction of a famous event from history.

History. That's what it's all about for me these days. Much like other men I have known, I seam to have only become more voracious in my appetite for knowledge of our past. I look for it in all forms, be it book, TV or movie which is why I was excited to hear about this film. The first thing that jumped out at me about it is the lead actor: Ioan Gruffudd.

Gruffudd stared as Horatio Hornblower in the much ballyhooed series of TV movies about the fictional English Sea Captain. You youngsters may know him better as Reed Richards from the Fantastic 4 Movies. He is the perfect guy to portray a turn of the 18th Century gentleman. In Amazing Grace he stars as William Wilberforce, who was an Abolitionist Member of Parliament. He is portrait in the beginning of the movies as an older beaten down man who has fought the long fight against his nation's support of the slave trade. Through flashbacks and story telling we also see him as the younger MP who first sets out to change the world with his friend the twenty something Prime Minister William Pitt played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

The story jumps around clueing us in on the events that transpired to make William Wilberforce so adamant that Britain get out of the slave trade. We learn that his pastor, John Newton, was so haunted by what he saw as a Captain of a slave ship that he was driven on shore into service to the Lord, and also to pen the song from which the movie takes it's name. Newton is played by Albert Finney who is one of the best parts of the film. Finney is always good, but as the tortured Newton he jumps right off the screen.

Every movie needs a bad guy, and when the subject matter is so heavy as it is in Amazing Grace, that's a lot to ask of an actor. Enter Lord Tarleton, deftly portrayed by Ciaran Hinds. Hinds has most recently been seen as Julius Caesar in HBO and BBC depiction of Rome, and I didn't think he could get much better then he was in that role. In Amazing Grace, his presence is limited almost entirely to his seat in Parliament, and his opposition to Wilberforce and Abolition is rooted in his desire to do what he sees as best for Portsmouth and it's shipping industry. Maybe it's through is somewhat evil visage, but some how he takes these challenges and forms the perfect embodiment of misguided politician.

Amazing Grace is a fantastic movie, that is easily watchable even though it is about a historical figure and event that most will not be familiar with. It is also amazing how the events of the early 1800's seem to mirror some of our challenges of today so well. Wilberforce is called out as a seditionist and seen as anti-English when he brings his reforms to the Parliament during a time of war. Much of what we can commonly acknowledge as important looking back is seen as trivial in the light of an all encompassing war. Sounds familiar huh.?


Sunday, March 11, 2007

Ouch! My Nuts!

Last night Inky and I went to see a movie (Amazing Grace) and then went over to our old stompin' grounds for pizza. As we drove down Richland Ave toward campus we drove by Mike's Nut Shop, which I've never been mature enough to pass with out laughing. That tradition goes back over 10 years to a time when XL and I would drive by and laugh like Beavis and Butt-head.

So imagine my surprise when I logged onto the Sunday newspaper to find out that the Nut Shop was damaged in an explosion on Saturday night. In fact if you click that link you'll see that the damage to the Nut Shop was so important that it warranted the sub-headline "Mike's Nut Shop was also damaged in the blast." Welcome to York news coverage.

Don't get me wrong, I think any damage to a towns Nuts (Shop) is worth reporting, but maybe not in the head line. It's funny, but for all the times I've mentioned the Mike's Nuts or thought about them, I've never been in his shop O nuts. The closest I ever came was when XL and I went to a local dive bar, back when I was still drinking and they had a sigh proudly announcing: We serve Mike's nuts." You can't make that kind of shit up.

(Post Script) Sunday 6:04: Inky and I drove past the site after our Sunday breakfast run, only to find Mike's Nut shop missing. At first I thought maybe York had tucked it back to see what it would look like with no Nuts, but it seams that the damage was so extensive that the building had to be ripped down. York has been castrated.


Thursday, March 08, 2007

Record Review: Jill Cunniff "City Beach"

It's been a while since I picked up a new record was all that crazy about, but I finally have one I'd like to share with you. Jill Cunniff was the lead singer of a fantastic indie group, Lucious Jackson, until they broke up in 2000. Many of you who think you've never heard of them may remember their highly popular Gap Holiday add where they sang "Let it Snow." The group was discovered and signed by the Beasty Boys, and opened for them on the road a few times.

On her solo debut, Cunniff flexes some fantastic Pop mussels. Everyone knows the old story about how Dark Side of the Moon syncs up to The Wizard of Oz, right? Well City Beach may very well do the same with car rides down-the-shore. The tracks are warm and sunny and you an almost smell suntan lotion as you listen. You could easily listen to this record all the way to the beach and take it with you to your towel and pop it in your boom-box. Oh shit! That's right, no one has them any more. Oh well, it will play just as well on your Ipod as you bake in the sun, seeing and being seen.

This record's best feature is its listenability, not necessarily it's lyrical substance. The opening lines of the first track, Lazy Girls, say it all. "Here's a song for lazy girls and laid back boys who never quite outgrew their toys. Maybe they told you you got to go get 'em, but you'd rather lay low and watch the river run." The forth track, Warm Sound, is a slow and cool jam that may induce a kind of rhythmic head roll. There's no story to the song, but there is a clear message that is very comforting as it's 35 degrees out with snow on the ground. "There's a warm sound, comin our way. It's a sweet breezy kind of day." Putting this record out two months before the weather really gets nice was perfect timing.

The seventh song, Love is a Luxury, is my favorite from this record and is already on of my favorites this year. It comes across as very autobiographical from an artist who has attained a status that brought her at least some financial success, and yet sounds as if she has struggled at time to find what's important. "What does it mean, to have money to burn? I bought it all, I lost it all. I didn't learn...Love is a Luxury." I think one of the other lines is applicable for almost any of us who have pondered our success in both live and love. She sings "What if I never have a fortune or the worlds affection? ... perhaps it is perfection" before coming to the conclusion "I don't need much, cause you are enough for me."

In the end I can say that City Beach is some damn good work out of Jill Cunniff and required summer listening for all those who have a slow groove in their soul. And if you find that you like Ms. Cunniff, don't miss the Lucious Jackson greatest hits record that's out now too.


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Oh my god! They killed..... Captain America?

The first comic book I ever bought multiple copies of was called "The many deaths of Batman" where it appeared as if the Caped Crusader would be killed. I was sorry when I only bought one copy each of Batman 426, 427, 428 and 429 the latter being the issue where Robin (Jason Todd) dies. So a few months later when I saw that Batman 433 started a three part series featuring the words "death" and "batman" I made sure to get 4 or 5 copy's of each, which went right into bags with backing boards. What do you want from my life? I was 12, and I had paper route money to burning a hole in my pocket. Plus I saw it as an investment, and it paid off a few years later when I sold all my comics to buy my first car.

Even as a 12 year old I knew this killing of super hero's was just a tactic to sell more comics. When I was in college I was well past my comic collecting years, but even I picked up an issue when I heard that they were killing off Superman. But, that was all different. Superman wasn't even human, and we all knew there had to be some plausible way they could bring him back. The Jason Todd version of Robin was hated by most comic readers (lil greazy included) so DC set up a phone number you could call to vote on if he should live or die. And die he did, to make maters worse he died at the hands of the Joker who had become the Iranian Ambassador/ terrorist and was trying to help Iran wipe Israel off the map! The drawing of the Joker in the turban was hilarious by the by. So nobody was all to concerned with these super hero deaths.

But Captain America? Does anyone else see any irony here? Steve Rogers became Captain America to fight Hitler, and to do so he was made the embodiment of everything that we stood for and Hitler stood against. Although it's funny to realize that they story credits some secret genetic altering drug for making Cap all that he became, a bit more like Hitler then we might have known in 1941. Killing this fictional beacon of Americanism via a snipers bullet would be bad at any time. Doing it in the middle of one of worst, and least-American war is just down right awful. What next? Are we going to retire Uncle Sam and replace him with a sleazy pimp that says "you'll do bitch" rather than "I want you!" While we're at it maybe it would be more fitting if Captain America's replacement was Captain Commerce, or Mr. Multinational Corporation.

It's all a sign of the time. I'm not an over patriotic person by any means, but I do love my country. So, I'm sad to see even a fictional coalescence of our finest attributes perish. Rest in Peace Cap. You'll be missed.


Monday, March 05, 2007


You know who hasn't scrawled 666 on her shaved head in rehab? Christina Aguilera. I was looking over the Sydney Morning Herald this morning when I came across a story that says, in part, that Britney Spears wrote the sign of the beast on chrome dome. It also goes on to say that friends say that Britney is addicted to crystal meth which may be at the root of her raving that she was the Antichrist.

Come on people! I've been saying Britney was the Antichrist for years, and now she's just proving how smart I am. It was more than a year ago, 2/13/06, when I first posted about Brit due to her little drive with her kid on her lap. Then on 3/30/06 I did a post about all the flap about a statue of Britney giving birth. Then on 5/10/06 we found out that she was pregnant again with another K-Fed demon spawn, and on 9/13/06 I had to poke fun at her for having two babies with in one 365 day span. All that child-birthin' can be rough on a young lady, and Brit gave us all a close up look at what it's done to her, so I did my 5th and last post of the year about her on 12/02/06.

That's 5 posts out of 197 I did in 2006! That's 2.5% of my efforts directed at blasting this no talent, waste of space. This should give you some sort of idea how much I hate the fact that she is famous. Note: I don't hate Her but that's only because I haven't met her. I hate the way she was propped up in the beginning even though she wasn't really doing anything of merit. And I hate the fact that all of this craziness will be forgotten in two or three years when she makes a comeback, or is in a movie where she shows her tits, call it the Mariah Carey rule.

If the article in the SMH is to be believed (and most likely it isn't) Britney also attempted suicide by tying a bed sheet around her neck and trying to hang herself. There's no jokes here, it is sad enough by it self. Maybe it's time we all (me included) just stop paying attention to her and allow her to pull her life together. I'd be more than willing to do that if she would just sign a contract that says she'll never sing again. Seems fair.