I like the personal-add abbreviation ISO, or In Search Of. It is an incredibly fast way of saying what you want. SWM ISO HSYF = Single white male in search of hot slutty young female. SWF ISO TONMITW = Single white female in search of the one normal male in the world. Stuff like that. Being as I am all set in the love arena I’m ISO other things. It seems as if we are always searching for something in this world, be it love, money, a feeling of accomplishment, a better body image, respect, or in a more general sense: contentment.
For all intents and purposes I am still in my 20’s, or at least that’s what I tell myself as I cry my old ass to sleep. Seriously, I am 30 ½ and I have no kids which takes 3.14 years off your age. I also play fantasy football which docks 4 months and about 23 IQ points. I still feel unsettled and inexperienced, and I guess I am ISO Direction. I got my first tattoo about a year after my father died, for this very reason. It is a compass rose, and it was supposed to remind me to seek the right direction if not and old direction at all. But I am still seeking; still in search of.
I work on a college campus and in some ways I think it makes this feeling worse. I was flipping through the course catalogue today for my wife who is thinking about taking a class next semester and I found myself jealous. Jealous of the kids here now who are just like I was when I was a student. They don’t realize how much they have at their finger tips, and like me most of them are letting it get away from them. I talked to one of the students who works in my office about being a student the other day and what she had to say may as well have been read back by the stenographer of my life. “I can’t wait till school is over and I’m on my own. I want to be out in the real world.”
So the search can begin anew? That’s what’s happened to 90% of us who had one idea of what we wanted when we were 20 and either didn’t or couldn’t make it a reality. How many people do you know who are doing exactly what they said they wanted to do when they were 20? I know about 3, and only one who really loves it. (I hate you a little bit ML) So the rest of us are ISO. We hope to find a job, a hobby or another way of thinking that will settle us down. Flipping through that course catalogue I couldn’t help but think that some of the things I am ISO are out there, just waiting to be studied and learned about. If only I didn’t have things to say, bills to pay and a whole generation of lost bloggers to save.