There's a track on one of my favorite records of the year, Public Warning by Lady Sovereign, called Random. One of Sov's lines in that song is "I'm droppin'' lyrics like a ho droppin' knickers."
That ho is Britney Speers. There have been three or four stories about Britney's panty deficiency over the last few weeks prompting me to wonder when US Weekly will begin a regular segment on poon spottings. Or maybe the E! network will begin a "Britney snatch watch" soon. I think I heard that Ryan Seacrest was attached to host.
Listen, I know she finally got rid of that stupid husband or hers, and she's out for a little fun. But didn't anyone ever tell her to play just the slightest bit hard to get? Hell, in the picture above you can see that even Paris Hilton is pulling Brit's legs together to prevent her from winking at the camera's again. When Paris is trying to stop you from being a dirty tramp you know you've gone too far.
To make matters worse, there have been all these stories about her shopping spree at a Hollywood lingerie store last week. Some reports put her final bill at five thousand bucks! What the fuck is she doing with those thongs? Flossing? It must hurt the poor people in the world to know that she can drop this kind of cash on drawers and then just not wear them.
Although in the end the joke may be on all of us. After all her good pal Paris is basically famous because she showed the world her cooter. Maybe Britney is just trying to get famous again. Christ, I just hope there's no sex tape with Kevin.