Sunday, August 13, 2006


When I was a young lad, I would sometimes stay home from school, because I was sick, or for other reasons. On these days I would sit and watch Soap Operas with my mother. Later in college, I would sit and watch some of the same soaps with my roommates, and later with my girlfriend who would become my wife. We still watch a few of them on the soap network from time to time, having discovered that the storylines move so slow you can miss a few months and still know what's going on. My favorite through all these years has been General Hospital from Luke and Laura all the way up to today.

And so it was that Inky and I were taking in the Thursday 8/10 episode of GH on Soapnet today. In all of the mass intrigue and backstabbing I realized something that could undo the very fabric of natural law. There are two children on this show, Christina and Molly, who are all at once sisters... and cousins.

Their Mother, Alexis, was the lawyer for mob boss Sonny and in an absent minded night of passion they conceived Christina. Of course Sonny didn't know she was his kid for a few years, but that's pretty common on soaps. Later Sonny's long lost half brother Rick came along and by and by he also got around to impregnating Alexis, who he then married. There offspring, Molly, was then the half sister of Christina, and also her cousin. Gross.

It gets worse however. One day Sam (Played by the above pictured Kelly Monaco) came to town, and it was soon discovered that she too was Alexis' child, whom she gave birth to at the age of 14. Since she arrived on the show she has been with both Sonny (the father of her half sister) and now Rick, the father of her other half sister and her mothers husband.

This shit is awesome. But if you can't figure it all out here's a flow chart:

(click on it to see larger version)

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