Thursday, July 27, 2006

I've been turned out.

For the last 7 years I've been fighting it, but now I have to come clean and own up to the fact that I'm a whore. My pimp is one of the biggest companies in the world, and day after day I take my place on the proverbial street corner and bring in cash for my daddy. My pimp (the CEO) will all at once brag to his boys (Wall Street) about how much bling he has, and show off his phat ride (company jet) and all his fine threads and then bitch about how much he spends on us. We the street walker get put on pimp arrest. When he talks to us all we get is threats of bitch slapping and threats like "Is The Man gonna have to choke a bitch?" or in CEO Pimp speak "We may have to cut five thousand jobs, because we are not profitable enough."

Why am I picking this moment to speak out against my daddy? Because we had a bit of a meeting the other day on the corner where I work and Daddy let us know that all of our hard work on our backs, and knees has paid off... for him and his boys. See, my company is on pace to make $20B this year. That's T-W-E-N-T-Y Billion with a B. IN MOTHERFUCKING PROFIT!!! All I get from that $20,000,000,000.00 is a cut in pay, less time off and constant threats of losing my job to someone in India. I could probably feel better about myself if I started sucking cock in a ally for real.



greg said...

hey interesting choice in carreer but I stand for you

Angry Inky said...

You ain't Captain Save-a-Ho. You know what they say, Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money!!

Libertarian Commentarian said...

Yeah well the hoes make more money and at least those jobs won't go to India... all their hoes have The HI--5.